


In Wine There's Truth

by AllthefanficsAllofthem



Category: The Three Musketeers (2011)
Genre: Accidental Coming Out, Alcoholic Aramis, Aramis is a depressed asshole, Athos is tired, Becoming a family, But not quite, Claude - Freeform, Demisexuality, Except the squad, Failed Mission, Gen, I mean that was what I was going for at least, Identity Issues, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, Kidnapping, M/M, Marsac is mentioned, Openly Gay Porthos, Or Is he?, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Homophobia, Slow Burn, This was supposed to be long, a lot of unnecessary side romance, also Treville is gay and mysterious, angsty fuck, as always, but he's going to be okay, but my abilities, did i mention Athos gets kidnapped?, exploring sexualities, let's pretend Anne is a lesbian, like almost everyone, pre D'Artgnan era, some characters are simply mentioned, this is definitively set to be finished, we've got a OMC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-04-14 22:51:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14146344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllthefanficsAllofthem/pseuds/AllthefanficsAllofthem
Summary: Aramis swears he'll change . Aramis promises .But there's a story yet to unfold .Aramis makes a very Athos like entrance to Treville's office one night just before he leaves on a mission .He exits the office with new found motivation and words that mark him for days .Secrets are revealed , kept safe , the mission proceeds , there are bumps ,obstacles .And Aramis must make good on his promises  .Yet everything seems to be an axis to another , concealed , story that in its turn sets off a new one.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first thing that i'm publishing and it's ridiculously unbeta-ed . The most chapters this is gonna have is around six and the least is three , i hope i can work it out somehow.  
> Anyway there's an omc , an unwanted romance and I don't really know what's happening , Treville had to have some tragic gay backstory . Pointing out errors is appreciated , so are kudos and comments cause i really wanna hear what you guys think , this fandom is so small and i just wanted to contribute somehow.

By the time Porthos has been three years in the musketeers' regiment and Aramis and Athos about five ,Aramis didn't really have to waste his time thinking about them .  
Aramis had plenty of love to give out and everyone got around in their little group of three , enough to be comfortable , like friends stuck in army were , but after that point everyone pretty much held to themselves .  
Lone , detached and estranged .

They were great friends , honestly , but drunk nights hugging pints of wine and drinking themselves to a stupor until they could no longer make eye contact let alone communicate , just lacked the warmth of a trust based friendship.  
One that Aramis hadn't tasted quite yet , for someone surrounded by familiar faces and lively chatter for the biggest part of his life.  
well when a man held a blade to another man's neck every other day you could probably bet he had rather little time to do much else than wallow in wine . And clean their weapons obsessively when there was time to waste. Which there wasn't really but some nights were longer than they were supposed to .  
Now, that thought urged him to call for the barmaid , tell her to come back with a shot of their strongest liquor and after that maybe with another one , some pints of wine too maybe , then some more until he drowned in it.  
Just to escape that dilemma.  
but he hoped he'd avoid making a habit out of drinking , wasn't one of his traits , stripped him off his charms .  
So , he slipped into a silent monologue for the thousandth time since he joined the musketeers .

It wasn't actually a question that he craved the action in the battlefield, the adrenaline , the rush , although times like these made it seem like so . Too many if's and what if's clouded his vision , too many sugar coated fantasies made him clutch his head to keep it from parting in two . It was a fact that he needed to be the one to deliver that final blow from his musket when a bullet tore through a man and rendered him unconscious as much as he needed the love he searched in so many beds.  
He had a man every other week on his knees , bloodied and begging him for his life and every time he hesitated , between his duty , killing and protecting , taking under his wing whatever dirtied , poor thief that fought for his right to live.  
Every time.

"forgive me father for i have sinned"

Curse his mother and his upbringing. This pseudo-noble way of living that was forced on him.  
Curse his conflicting nature , the many bad choices that could have easily been avoided.  
Curse the point it lead him to. Here. Now. Wasting his life away.

He wouldn't curse anyone out loud in the house of god though.  
But then again he shouldn't have come in here undone and drunk out of his mind , messed and sick all over either.  
Aramis glanced heavenwards , asked for forgiveness , crossed his fingers and stumbled to stand off his knees .

Outside the church Porthos was waiting as if a ritual , waited for Aramis to be sick all over the gutter and for Aramis to lean his head on his chest , aching, and waited for Aramis to realize he was unable to walk properly and for Aramis to finally admit that he was maybe , perhaps , actually in need to be carried back to the apartment . He shouldn't make a habit out of this after all . That night he swore he'd change things to be a little more true to himself. Whatever that meant .However he managed that.

The next day found him fatigued and sprawled on the garrison's field floor as the sun shone begrudgingly hard down on him as if disappointed in him , that was , until a shadowy figure saved him from the exhausting attempt of covering his face with his arms and stood there silent , palms secured on hips . Aramis thought little of it as his savior offered a hand for him to take drunkenly . Porthos walked all three steps to the dining bench with Aramis and sat uncomfortably close to make sure he wasn't going to faint again . On Porthos' side Aramis found comfort in bending over the table to rest his aching head on it and shut out Athos' monotone lulling and boring voice describing even the tiniest details from last week's mission to captain Treville . 

"- and we found him brawling in some run down tavern in the outskirts of Paris .He was obviously drunk and had no idea what he was doing .Took on a thug double his size , kinda looked like a red guard . Porhtos rushed me to leave it but i thought of going back to investi-"

At the time some other musketeers , young fellas, joined the dining area and sat around them , crowding the sparsely decorated table and making too much noise for a drunk man of his likes in addition to Athos' voice .  
A rhythmic deep laugh found its way to his ears though , that single sound out of this hellish cacophony like a godsent remedy.

Porthos' mouth was stretched wide , forcing his cheeks to fold and sharp teeth to show as he laughed appreciatively over Thomas' unfortunate adventures with the bossy barmaid from last night's tavern raid.

Aramis had lazily turned his head staring , blank faced, at his comrade in a drunken haze and too lazy to fix his features into a tamed smile.  
Porthos turned his head instead smiling the fond smile Aramis failed to , and god knows that made him ponder all the things this man has done for him , for Aramis , who puts everyone in unnecessary danger , jumping out of windows , and getting drunk in the most inconvenient of situations . For Aramis who has little to offer in return .

Given his apt sense of morality , all the goods he achieved over the years, Aramis expected he would have progressed differently.  
Really he ought to change . Change wasn't always good , but he could make it .

Treville stands gripping the railings of his office's balcony seemingly angry but Aramis knows better and internally chastises the old man charade Treville puts on .  
The captain looks around pressing his lips together in a white line , looking nonplussed and skeptical , before taking a step back and calling their names in a big jaded sigh .

"come into my office."

Athos is magically already halfway up the stairs without rushing whereas Porthos was crossing the garrison field at a leisure walk few steps behind Athos and Aramis has just gotten up after disentangling his legs from the wooden bench that proved to be just a bit too complicated for a hangover man .

Treville's office has no spare chairs , not a place to sit on , except maybe the far end bench near the window across the room , but the idea is rejected when everyone in the room stares him down .  
Aramis looks away . It's not that the room is that fascinating , he has seen it a thousand times , but Aramis could make do with pretending if he was to avoid those neatly lined up judging stares .  
He always knew Athos was a pretentious little shit.

Access to a window is vital in his state , surely they can understand that .  
Aramis settled near the work desk leaning back on a wooden post , clutching his sides and pulling his hat down low .  
Their captain slid a neat thin and well kept letter forth in his desk with his middle and index fingers and managed to look strict enough to get their attention.

"This is a letter addressed to the musketeers . We stood lucky enough that i happen to recognize the handwriting .Very foolish of him , but it gives us an advantage over the situation. " Treville spoke deliberately mysteriously and Athos always gave in having no patience whatsoever. 

"Who wrote it?" 

"Claude" He stopped so briefly it was like he never did at all.  
"former musketeer .Betrayed the order while it was still forming. I have my reasons to believe he means danger this time ."  
He inclined his head downwards.

"Take a look" Athos did and whatever he saw there didn't surprise him but instead of moving his face away from the letter he arched a brow in a chastising question .

An expression they all knew well. It wouldn't be another tedious mission with minimal physical effort from their part. It wasn't something spectacular and action inspiring either , his stillness said as much .  
But they were in for some riding around , playing tough and untouchable.

"Claude .." And this time the pause was clearly extended.

"Was a comrade , we fought together .Covered each other's back "  
Treville stopped and then looked for all the world's worth as if he was going to end this sentence considerably differently , fondly even, rather than:  
"And i know what he's capable of , so be careful gentlemen ."  


He said with a short tap of his clenched fist on his desk as he moved past it and proceeded to give out more information and that's where Aramis ceased listening , because Porthos' head was bobbing in affirmation and seemed to give his utter most attention to some pointless place of rendezvous and his leg was shifting in a way that anyone else would have mistaken for a nervous twitch , but truth was Porthos was impatient to swing into action .And now his legs were moving and Aramis was distantly aware they were supposed to leave but the poised movement was simply hypnotizing.This was ridiculous , he thought as he moved to follow them .

Later Aramis asks about Claude .At night. Midnight to be precise .After he's gone to empty their poor local barkeepers off their wine cellars .  
Cause he's troubled . 

So Aramis makes a very Athos like entrance to Treville's office late that night , sitting in the dark leaning in his paper ridden desk and nursing still an unhealthy amount of wine from a cup while looking lost in dark past times when actually lost in a thinking train-wreck .

Treville comes in much later drenched and hunching from the cold and deals with Aramis' eerie presence rather calmly . The instance he realizes someone's standing his office he lights a small used candle and takes in Aramis' troubled face with a tired grimace of his own .

"I thought you were Athos " Aramis laughs shortly and smirks.

"fair point" He says as he comes back quickly from his daydreaming and Treville simply fixes him with a stern look .

"What do you require this late at night Aramis ?" The captain pretends to hastily tidy files and letters on the desk and Aramis moves to face him , suddenly feeling the need to change the subject for no reason at all .

"Nothing" He swipes his fingers past a small vase uselessly decorating the room , pretending to be nonchalant .

"Just came back from the Sun " He holds his pint up as if to prove his point and nods.

"Remembered i don't quite recall our place of rendezvous " Treville stops what he's doing and gives him an incredulous look , then a long tired one.

"Go ask Athos , or Porthos . They will give you all the information you need."

He looks up at Aramis again "Is that all?"

  Aramis looks past the desk and doesn't understand he does this for a while until Treville's worried voice echoes again in the room .  
"Aramis?" 

Aramis snaps out of his skeptic trance "What was.. Who was Claude"  
He never got to see the letter after all . Only Athos' perplexed frown .

Treville's sigh is very convincing.  
"Claude was a musketeer , as i told you this morning. And he was a very good one."  


He scowls and doesn't look like he's going to say much else .Never does . The constantly bitter captain is always bundled up in a layer of mystery and unwillingness to talk and any other time Aramis would have respected that but this time he feels giddy , just like a young child asking about his father's past.  
The idea is ticklish and puts a smile on his face as he sits on the desk once again , sure that he can stare Treville into sharing his stories .

"Did you hold strong feelings for Claude?" It sounds a bit different than he intended to and Treville looks around skittishly before answering .

"He was a brother to me , i'm sure you can imagine what that means , we lived together for many years before he finally made the decision to just up and go."  
And that sounded more forceful than he probably meant to but Aramis wasn't about to analyse it , instead he let Treville unfold this bitter story on his own .

"Claude was with me when the musketeers were pulled together to make it what it is today. And he was going to be your captain in my place."  
Treville , although this morning's vicious warning looked genuinely devastated when he said that .

"What happened ?" Aramis urged him on and past his mourning.

"He turned into a coward."

Any point the conversation had was lost , it stopped as quickly as it didn't start and everything about this place suddenly felt unwelcoming .  
Aramis looked down and expired feelings filled his bitter and alcohol induced insides .

Claude was a synonym to traitor to Treville and traitor , traitor was a synonym to Marsac . Marsac , like this person they're about to go after , used to be everything in someone's life , a brother in arms , a soulmate , a friend .  
He just happened to be Aramis'.

If it wasn't for Marsac dragging him with such care under a dead loft for covering and away from the cruel scene of their slaughtered brothers only to watch his back retreating badgeless and limping , turning away from his responsibilities , he would have probably been better off.  
No flashbacks , no headaches, no old wounds reopening.  
But he probably would have been dead too.

Guilt flooded the office in waves , guilt for the accident that took place in Savoy , guilt for neglecting his duties , his friends , his comrades.  
His guilt was shared , maybe even unfairly so. It wasn't something he knew of yet , it wasn't something he was ready to learn .  
He would , surely , in the future.  
But until then Treville made sure he didn't .

The dismissal of their gathering wasn't as formal as their backward greeting was and Aramis' exit was very much like his entrance , quiet , troubled, small drunk steps towards the door , Treville wearily sighing at his own pain.

Aramis' apartment at the musketeers compounds felt suffocating by his own smelly breath and dirtied clothing and tormented mind that he couldn't take off Savoy.  
This man couldn't sleep through his dreams tonight , the bed felt small and he was drunk on words and thoughts that made his head twice the size, thrice when he put it on his small bed and pillow .  
Aramis couldn't sleep tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boring second part of the story that i present to you all so long after the first one that i don't even have an excuse , other than that it's pretty hard editing your own work.  
> Maybe enjoy ?

They leave first thing in the morning .The sun is yet to greet them .  
Aramis is woken to the sight of Athos preparing Roger's saddle , the proud stallion straining his legs and posing at the entrance of the garrison.

They ride at a slow pace toward the dawning sun , sleep drunk and dizzy , Aramis struggling to keep his eyes open , and his arms tight around the reigns , when he does it it's with difficulty. Porthos' voice is chirpy and rich and happy , narrating gambling stories .

"Do y'all remember the guy i took on cards ?"

"So he comes in , right ? I tell him i bet you three livres i can jump out that window and back in-"  
His description is vivid and theatrical , comical and refreshing , and everything they need to energize them and prepare them for the long journey ahead .  
Aramis' and Porthos' cackles are hysterical . It's nice . 

 

They're meant to be wandering on these roads , the three of them , like lost people , charlatans . It suits them .  
Because at the end of the day that's all he could be , they could be .  
With no money , no fame , no love .

Athos could care less , honestly and Aramis saw that , it was kind of saddening to see the man in his decision . But being able to live that kind of life , with so little in his possession was also kind of liberating , Aramis could guess.

Athos drunk more than he did not , looking surprisingly sober most of that time as he would always find himself in control of just any situation they were in. It was his charm and albeit concerning and unhealthy , it was useful in many occasions .  
His face muscles movement capacity suffered a great limitation though he always managed to make his frustration clear . In very elaborate ways .

A fine fencer but old for a rookie at the time he came in . You could easily have mistaken him for a man who had lost everything in his life , and as far as Aramis knew , he could have . But he didn't really know his story .

His mind kept going to the most eccentric person in their trio though.  
Porthos was a feeling that never sat well with Aramis , in a nice way , a childish excitement kind of way , but still unsettling .  
Porthos was an amusing and indescribable folk .  
Compatible in aspects Aramis hadn't even explored in himself , aspects Porthos seduced out of him.  
His charms really did lure the unknown out of Aramis .

Athos starred once again in his thoughts as he began shouting words at Porthos that he didn't actually care comprehend . He didn't bother processing it .  
The nonchalant man in question stirred his horse to move faster at the sound of Porthos' voice , the fragile ghost of a smile disappearing until a new lucky and brave folk would try and get it out of Athos .

 

Next thing he knows his horse thrashes and gallops anxiously to a stop to avoid a collision with its fellows .  
Apparently unbeknownst to him Athos and Porthos were conversing while he drove his horse dazedly in zigzags .  
His companions had agreed to take a break at an inn , halfway their destination , and thought it'd be nice to inform Aramis , but when Aramis remained unresponsive , Athos stopped Rogers in his tracks and got off . Porthos did too and waited for their friend to join them willingly or not .  
Soon enough the pretty dark horse shook of its owner in annoyance.  
The bunch of them laughed at the sight of Aramis face to the floor and Aramis felt the vibrations in his bones , it felt nice , relieving , perhaps not so much in his position but Aramis managed.

They walked the rest of the way there as the mud road sunk under the weight of the horses even without them on them . Thankfully the way to the inn was short and easy to bypass .

 

The walk is silent , the comfortable kind of silence you fall into early in mornings like these , slow and surreal .  
They reach the old and already crumbling building . The appearance just a taste for what entails .

If there was one thing Aramis had perfected over the years while in this team was innocently ignoring the meaningful looks his companions threw at him . They could mean a variety of things , such as " Don't lay with the owner's daughter .Again ." or , "Don't waste our funding money on street ladies . Again ." or even something like "Do not oversleep on a lady's bed and completely forget the mission . AGAIN."

He'd turn his gaze away , smirk or huff carelessly , throw a sarcastic comment and be on his way.  
It was easy . Maybe because he didn't care enough about the consequences .

Athos mutters something under his breath to him that he doesn't even have to hear to answer.

"I make no such promises ."

Aramis whispers and smiles radiantly while he ducks and passes the rickety framed door. It's just another ran-down mold filled motel in the middle of nowhere , dark and humid inside and only a few drunk men litter the bar area looking rugged under the warm but faint light of candles.  
The three of them know motels like that like the back of their hands.  
It's all they can afford and it's all they can find on their way to whatever mission Treville has doomed them this time .  
When Aramis lays on his uncomfortable bed late that afternoon he wonders whether his dear friends thought they stood lucky there was no woman to woo in the area.  
Staying sober and thinking about such mundane things , idly , in a dead still room does it for Aramis .  
His hands twitch , and his body shifts with every shallow breath , and his thoughts are left unfinished in favor of another one forming speedily inside his head .

The floorboards creak under his weight and the door complains soundly when he tries to open it , and it seems like the motel tries to swallow him up and trap him , so Aramis fastens his belt and hangs his musket on it and heads to the barn .  
It's wicked cold days , biting cold and dark albeit the sun struggling to appear through clouds of dust and brushes of indigo . It's because it's dark that he pays no mind to two entangled figures in the corner seemingly stumbling in their haste , casting a malformed shadow on the far barn wall .  
As he gets closer Aramis still isn't bothered to inquire who might be here this late , when the horses aren't in a state to travel .

It's only when he hears a noise and murmurs carried with the breeze that he becomes suspicious .  
It's two men , he recognizes by the forms , huddling close together in the corner . They dare not move now that he has turned to face them .  
There's something oddly familiar with the taller figure . The broad shoulders , the posture , the poise. 

"Aramis?"

The deep , rich voice . 

Aramis startles at the realization . Porthos looks concerned but defiant when their eyes meet in the dim light of the candle in Aramis' hand .

A half dressed man besides him ,with long brown hair and fair skin rushes to tuck his undershirt in his braies , clearly scared of the sight of Aramis towering in the doorway .

It does take him too long to put two and two together .

When he does , there's nothing in particular that comes to mind .  
It's empty of thoughts for a few more tense moments , until their guest bypasses him in a panicked hurry , shoulders brushing awkwardly . 

"Porthos." He exclaims.  
Aramis doesn't manage to come up with anything more than that . Doesn't know what he's supposed to say.

And then it dawns on him.

Aramis is usually in bed with some woman or other at this time , more often than not having politely thrown Porthos out of their shared and uncomfortably small room , bragging about battle scars because that's the only thing that's useful about them.

There's few times he actually wondered what Porthos was up to while he swooned ladies into bed with him .  
Did he pick up lads from every dirty back alley tavern like he did with lasses ?  
Did he sweet talk them into oblivion ?  
Did he make love to them in hopes that this time , when morning rolled around , with them sprawled on a sorry excuse of a bed , he'd finally feel like he belonged? 

Did he desperately search for the one in men like he did with women ?  
Whatever he did , it was with secrecy and in barns and probably much worse places , because Aramis hadn't cared to notice.

And then he realizes what Porthos does behind their backs , isn't something most other people accept .  
It isn't something the church considers moral , or their king , the one they've vowed to lay down their lives for . 

"Aramis can i talk to you ?'  
"square and fair ?"  
He snaps out of his trance and suddenly regrets searching answers to questions he might not welcome warmly .

"Go ahead." Aramis croaks and he hates the sound of his voice.

"Aramis , i'm not ashamed at all of who i am , though it may seems like it .  
And i refuse to . If you really think your god is all loving you'll find it in yourself to accept the fact that i sleep with men ."

Porthos looks certain as he says this . He envies him a little .  
How could he ever hold a grudge against him?

"How could i ever hate you Porthos ?"  
Aramis admits in the suffocating dark of the barn , bowing his head.  
"There's not a single soul in this world that's wholly pure and unblemished ."

They sigh in unison.

"And we're no different."  
Aramis adds before he leaves him in the quiet of the building , but he doesn't know why he does it , why he spoke so harshly or left so quickly .

He ends up in the bar , breaking his promise . It's the last time , he swears . But the empty cups of wine indicate otherwise .  
By the time Porthos makes his way to the bar himself , he's beyond spent .

 

Porthos gets an arm around Aramis' chest and under his left shoulder , hoist him up and guides him to their room .

They don't talk about it on their way to Calais the next day .  
Athos notices the tension .  
There's a considerable distance between their horses and it's unexpected that it's Porthos who seems to ride furiously to outrun Aramis and eventually Athos .

"Did you kick him out again ? You know every man has his limits Aramis ."  
Athos whispers to Aramis when Rogers slows down enough to walk alongside Chevalier , and Aramis feels a bit guilty.

Porthos looks over his shoulder accusingly and gives them a cold stare.  
Did he think Aramis would go around letting people know what Porthos was or wasn't doing in his free time ?

Aramis had spent three years in battlefields having Porthos' back and he knew he trusted him with his life . Could one night change all that?

It's not the first and definitely not the last time remorse washes over him .  
Aramis only knew about this part of Porthos by accident . Aramis knew so little other than the way Porthos drew his sword and musket during fights to surprise their foes , or how he got into position to attack when they were cornered . It was all so practical and formal.  
It was still decidedly his duty to keep this secret concealed and Porthos safe of judgement . 

They arrive in Calais in a day's time and camp in the outskirts of the town .Tomorrow will be a day dedicated to undercover investigating and incessant babbling with strangers .  
This part is usually Aramis' job.

He knows he can charm anyone into confessing even the worst of crimes .  
But he has misjudged the own people he trusts . 

 

Athos pairs off with Porthos and their paths are divided .  
Athos instructs them to keep quiet about their identity , keep a close eye on anyone they find suspicious , approach cautiously before making a move .Prolong the conversation , and if they find anything interesting inform the others immediately after securing the suspect .  
Aramis and Porthos get their own separate warnings of course .  
No flirting , no gambling , no brawling .  
Aramis knows the no flirting rule applies mostly to him , but he wonders whether Porthos follows this particular rule as well .  
Then goes his own way without another word .

 

It's strange that Athos decides to send Aramis alone this time , as it was usually him going off on his own , grim and brooding down whichever dirty road they were on.  
His thoughts run amok with the reasonings his mind supplies .  
Did Porthos ask him to ? Did Athos want to ask him about Aramis' and Porthos' obvious conflict ? Was it a simple coincidence?

Aramis didn't believe in coincidences , they were always a bit too convenient for his tastes .  
But Aramis was an over analyzing and overthinking bastard .

it's the fifth bar he's hit when he decides to try and calm his nerves .  
It's easy to find Athos and Porthos if he needs to , call it a night and go to sleep .  
But he wants it over , the sooner the better .  
It's well into the night after all and the pint of watered down wine on his hand is the only thing keeping him functioning .

He's halfway through his second one , when one slimy , bony guy bumps into him and almost throws him off his stool .

"Watch where you're going my friend." Aramis says somberly .  
He should be slithering around the tables , inviting himself over and being the chatterbox he's accused of being .

"Nah, another uptight pretty boy , why don't you go hang out with the other fancy Parisian scum eh?"

Aramis goes silent for a minute , it's not worth the risk to up and punch someone right here , right now .  
Then he turns in the direction the guy just pointed his dirty finger to .  
At the end of it , there's a intimidating pair of blue eyes staring him down .  
It's challenging , and maybe what he needs now .  
Also his rude friend informed him he was of Parisian origins , which is an interesting bit .

 

He makes his way to the table swaying slightly , and smiling to the cryptic man who nods to him to sit .  
"What brings you all the way out here from Paris , boy ?"  
He asks . Aramis is taken aback , sets into his seat quickly .

 

The guy goes on .  
"It's the way you walk mostly . Full of air , aren't they ? But the trimmed beard and neat hair is a subtle hint most don't take up on ."

Aramis nods in awe .  
"How are things over there? I haven't been there in a while ."

Aramis gets drawn into a conversation that mostly revolves around things mundane and dull .  
He's okay with that and another pint of wine .

He's two hours into the conversation when he takes him in .  
His whole attitude . It just confirms his suspicions.  
He knows to expect Claude to carry similar traits to Treville . The short temper , the incredulous stare , the defiant but serene gaze . He's far calmer and less composed , a smirk playing on his face unlike Treville .  
It's his unwillingness to open up that tips him off though . It's so characteristic of Treville to refuse to talk about things that matter .  
It seems like overtime Claude has accumulated many of Treville's good and bad sides into his own personality .  
Aramis can fish out many of them .  
He spills very little and hardly anything substantial . Things Athos and Porthos wouldn't notice .  
Aramis feels grateful for his odd midnight urges to revisit the past with their captain .

 

It's time now Aramis ensures his stay while he fetches the others.  
Claude puts a calloused hand on his gloved one before he can make any move towards the door or spew a sorry excuse about leaving .

"Wait , boy . Before you go around searching for your friends .. You must know i'll come willingly ."

It surprises him and it must show on his face as he sits back down on the chair . He says nothing but his eyebrows draw up to his hairline .

"Well. To tell you the truth , I've missed that old bastard Treville ."  
Aramis can't tell if he's being genuine , but he sounds like it.  
He doesn't address the fact Claude's being overly familiar with the whole situation . He's wary and it still doesn't sit well , being called out .  
But he's ready to hear him out .

"What do you think i am ? some rookie ? I know he'd sent someone after me , and i know what Treville looks for in trainees ."  
He eyes him up and down in scrutiny .

"I've been in the regiment for five years , sir ."  
Aramis answers stupidly .  
It's impressive how detached from danger Claude looks .

"That doesn't matter . You're still just one of his boys .'  
It's not said vehemently per se , perhaps bitterly .

"Tell me this though..."

"Did he ask you to bring me back alive?"

Claude looks sickly pale and tired in this light .

That or not at all he'd said , he'd been quite adamant . But Aramis feels as if admitting this would only worsen the situation .

 

Claude lifts his cup in cheers and smiles smugly at Aramis .  
Assures him he'll still be here when he comes back . And probably piss drunk .  
Aramis can only take up on his promise and leave to get Athos and Porthos.

When the three of them spill messily into the tavern with a hurried step and flailing limps and he sees Claude seated in the corner , when his company has stopped cussing about his recklessness he smiles and finds that it's not really unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The big reveal that's kind of a let down because of how Aramis experiences it ? I guess it's more of a dissociating episode for him , since he doesn't know how to respond to it or how to process it ... I wish i could've made the scene between Aramis and Claude longer. Thoughts maybe ? comments? I'll try to be more consistent with updates , with exams done and finished with , and quicker to post them.


	3. Chapter 3

Claude does come willingly . He first makes a mess of the table that empty pints of wine are strewn over and makes drowsy steps towards the stables near the inn .Athos and Porthos circle him warily the whole time , but Aramis falls two steps behind , which is easy to reason , so nobody pays any mind to why his eyes follow religiously the muddy trail of the road , void of life , until Athos decides they ride with the first light the day after this .

The eerie quiet doesn't bug anyone in the stables the next dawn .  
Athos tries unsuccessfully to pat down his dampened hair with a meek and aloof expression on . Porthos stretches with a not so inconspicuous glare his way , but the way he does it begs questions that makes Aramis' stomach churn . He thinks the notion of turning them away before they have the chance to be asked is cowardly , but there's nothing to be done. 

He can't speak plainly like that , in the company of other people , with the uncertainty that has settled in Aramis' stomach since yesterday .  
His eyes follow again the movements of Porthos' body , crossing paths with his gaze here and there , as if having an incomprehensible , mute conversation .  
It doesn't lead anywhere . Of course it doesn't , and the horses stand at the ready with the saddles on , waiting for them .

 

Claude's got his own horse , but the reins are tied to Roger's .  
Claude hasn't yet given them any reason to hurry so the pace is steady , a surreal sort of hazy walk back home . By the looks of it Claude works alone , they're far from danger . Immediate danger , as far as Athos is concerned .  
The debriefing of the mission is skipped . The campaign ran smoothly so far after all . It makes the road back to Paris feel quite real , tangible .

The proceedings have been strictly formal.  
Athos takes care of the account at the inn , Porthos keeps an eye out for Claude at night , leaving Aramis to share a room with Athos .  
Aramis sends out a letter to Treville with someone guaranteed to reach Paris faster than them , they polish their weapons , purchase supplies for the trip , and they are on their way.

It eats him up inside , the mundane route and the tranquil energy that has no place here .He knows better than to wish for things he might not really desire . The monotony of it doesn't subside though.  
The first few leagues are just that , monotonous . They've been riding without planning or navigating , letting their instincts guide them , and the long stripe of the lonely road leading back to the garrison . 

Claude starts whistling , high pitched and out of tune . Athos stares him into silence .  
They carry on , passing by plains and infinite stretches of fields blooming in late spring . 

 

It's nearing nightfall . They haven't covered past a quarter of their way home .  
When Aramis whines in complaining he takes the pitiful stares in reply as empathetic .  
It's shy of a mile after that he spots a lining of trees , so perfectly in order around a small clearing in a forest that isn't a forest , not completely straying off their path .  
He stops Chevalier and grabs the others' attention by whistling , a long sound that reverberated through him .

"What do you say ?" He puts on a playful and charming smile , throwing a hand in the general direction of the dark .  
"We don't risk being attacked while camping more than we already do on the main road at night ."

Porthos looks at Athos , shrugs nonchalantly and Athos shrugs back .  
Athos always avoids delaying their arrival , but at that he dismounts the horse and sighs wearily .  
A tense pair of shoulders , bunching under the leather of the suit .  
It is unwise to stop out in the countryside to nap .  
But sleep deprivation can be a strong motivator . 

"I'll search for a secure place , set up a fire . Porthos you can bring the quilts and the food , so Aramis takes first watch ."

 

It'd be petty for Aramis to admit that he felt disappointed and upset when Porthos left him behind without a word in protest or an effort to fall behind .  
But that's exactly how he felt .  
He takes his eyes of off Porthos' retreating back and turns to his horse.

"It's me and you again eh? Pretty convenient for a coincidence, don't you think ?"

Aramis is yanking off Chevalier's saddle when he remembers Claude .  
"I don't believe in coincidences."  
He says focused on the task , missing the point Claude's trying to make .

"What is it ? You think your friends don't want to play with you anymore ?"  
He remarks .  
"That's a shame ."  
He laughs derisively . Aramis can recognize it's plain gibberish . He doesn't mind . He doesn't .

 

"Don't give me the silent treatment . Give me something to work on . Talk to me boy . "  
The thought that perhaps he's not the only one affected by the bizarre serenity of the day crosses Aramis' mind .  
The itchy , displacing feeling that everything is slightly off that engulfs everyone and only few can comprehend it .

"What do you want me to say ?"  
Aramis asks honestly , into the humid night air . A quiet whisper .

"The tall , dark guy . You keep staring at him . I sense the tension . Why's that ? Mhm ? Entertain an old man ."

Aramis would rather avoid that . 

"You don't seem very intent on harming anyone , i must say .Why you'd sent that to Treville ?"  
A hostile electricity ripples through the air , yet the conversation carries on amicably .

"A question for a question . Fair enough lad . Well , thought i'd prank an old friend . Tell me now why Treville's most trusted soldiers can't even look each other in the eye?"

Aramis holds the eye contact , refuses to back down .  
When he turns back towards the water flask in his hand he admits there's no answer to that . A rational one at least . 

"Treville warned us about you. Why he'd do that ? If it was just a joke , my friend ?"

Claude smirks , a lopsided crooked smile . 

"Ah don't mind him . He's just bitter , is all . Say now , isn't it your turn ?"

Aramis gathers his thoughts , goes through each one .  
And it's pointless .  
"My friend and i , we uh .We had a disagreement , that we haven't worked out yet .Over something personal.. regarding him."

"Why would you leave the musketeers ?"

"Very upfront . That's good , i like that ."

"If you really wanna know then . See , i served under a king that Treville thought was fair and just . I didn't . I had two choices , stay and suffer for his sake , or leave and never look back . I'm sure i'm just a traitor to him now , but i chose what i believe in . And i'm not going back on my word , i still miss him though . Treville . Was hard to leave him behind "

The scowl and breathy sigh on Claude's face seemed sincere , lines etched on his forehead with the burden of memories .  
And he wasn't a part of those memories , couldn't know how much truth lied behind this facade .  
Yet there were no strong feelings to hold against him .

"Even when the cause is worth it , letting go of those you love hurts ."  
Once again Aramis finds that he has to agree , but can't really relate to what Claude says.  
It sounds true , even though it might be just twisting around the truth to fool Aramis , and he knows that's easy for Claude . 

 

Aramis managed to make the horses come together closer to the trunk of a chestnut tree , Claude's horse tagging close behind.

Porthos stalks back towards their steeds then , to dismount the saddlebags and relieve the horses of their gear with a jaded but strong step .

"Hey big guy. Won't you take pity on him ? "  
Claude calls out to Porthos pointing with his head to Aramis' direction , a mischievous ghost of a smirk . 

" What's wrong with him ?"

It's kind of a growl that's laced with humor , if you knew to look between the lines.  
It's surprising he finds this appropriate timing for joking .  
After a long day of scrutinizing and speculative glances and a strict silent treatment .

"Perhaps that's something i should be asking you ."  
Aramis mutters kind of humbly , shyly .  
When he holds a grudge , his manners fail him , as he's been told .  
Not that he holds a grudge now of course .  
But it does not help that this is Porthos mocking him that somehow unravels Aramis .

There's the sudden sound of yanking and the cracking of leather , Porthos' sullen grimace staring him down . 

Claude gets this knowing glint in his eyes , like he withholds information that makes for an ironic scene . 

"Whatever you mean by that Aramis ?"  
Porthos growls .

It's pride that Aramis hates most of all , yet , he admits , it's a big part of his life . A stain he will never wash away . And in the presence of a threat , it's pride that never lets him back down from a challenge . for better or worse .

"You've been behaving rather immaturely throughout our journey ."  
Porthos gawks in disbelief , cause he knows it's a jab at him.

"Aren't you pretentious Aramis."

Aramis recognizes the expression of disquieting fury on Porthos' face he knows is usually reserved for red guards and the cardinal and feels the displeasing tingles of guilt start to creep in quickly , chilling him to the core . 

 

"I'm getting really tired up here lads. Mind giving me a hand?"  
He's glad for Claude's minute intervention . Because now the visage of wrath on such a familiar face , that he knows he put there is an experience he wishes will never go through again .  
He sees now , how a simple mistake that could have been avoided have such consequences . It's misery that flows through him like a flood , until he drowns in it.  
He wishes to turn the events around , but he can't , none of it .

Porthos stubbornly turns away , ignorant of Aramis' internal turmoil , avoiding his eyes . There's something invincible that stabs wildly at his chest and doesn't seem to cease .

 

Athos comes to fetch them after an awkward while of standing resignedly in the quiet , one far from the other , to lead them to the clearing that stands below the rest of the forest ground .  
A natural fort , safe , as much as it can be , away from the road , hard to access but easy to get out of .  
He has set up a pile of twigs and branches in a corner , ready to be lit and offer what warmth it can in the chilly french weather.  
It's spacious enough for four blankets in a circle around the fire , though not for much more .

It's obvious to anyone with a pair of functioning eyes , the conflict and the chagrin between Aramis and Porthos , even if they ignore it's nagging presence.  
Athos is good at that , will problems away with a solemn look or a bottle of liquor .

And when he's finally sat on his rough and million times over patched blanket , it's clear he'd rather not deal with it .  
He opens a bottle of good wine , that definitely had no place on his pouch when the journey first started , and passes it around in hopes it loosens nerves and relaxes the postures of his companions .  
Claude gets his hands on the bottle as well . Athos binds them after that . 

The fire illuminates softly four sets of faces flushed from the heat and the drink , unfocused , glazed , and the starry sky above them lulls them to sleep slowly . It's unfair but as always it's Athos' method that works.

Aramis huddles close to the nearest body in his sleep , seeking comfort from his post Savoy nightmares , and it's bound to be either Athos or Porthos .  
But through the hazy fatigue of sleep it takes him a while to recognize it as Porthos'.  
He freezes. His hands retract quickly from his covered back .  
Doesn't know if he's got permission for that . Suddenly all too aware of every thought to have passed through his mind the past two days .The insecurities , the uncertainty .  
For a few seconds , he stands still , not breathing , trying not to breach that small expanse between them .  
Porthos rolls on his back and invades Aramis' personal space with his broad shoulders and big mass of muscles and mutters groggily ,  
"Go to sleep Aramis ."

Aramis clings rigorously to Porthos without realizing he does , the hurt of the day healing a bit , in the dark , unknowingly .  
He knows. Porthos is deep asleep to react properly , can only let Aramis hand wrap around his chest tightly , lean his head into the mop of Aramis' head . But he doesn't want to think about what next morning might bring .  
All that matters is getting through the night .

 

What morning brought was Athos' mysterious disappearance .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i present to you the third chapter of "fuck why did i publish this "  
> Promise i'm gonna finish it someday .  
> I realize now , that the conflict between Aramis and Porthos might be a bit OOC considering their canon relationship (except that one time Aramis ran for the hills to become a nun and adopt a dozen kids and left his boyfriend behind ) , but i need it for the story so . Here's some angsty gays in love (unknowingly yet) , enjoy !


	4. Chapter 4

Everything's intact , his blanket lay on the floor innocently , his pouch and even the empty bottle of wine Athos went to bed with stood are where they were strewn carelessly the night before .  
Roger seems unaware of Athos' absence , he's calmly munching away at the grass around him , tied alongside the other horses. .  
Claude is snoring soundly in his corner , his hands bound still.

There seemed to be no signs of a fight taking place in the area , there's no blood , no footprints or broken branches , discarded weapons or musket balls .

What was stranger was that Athos apparently had made no attempt to call for help . 

Porthos nudges Aramis when Athos  
"Has been taking a long while for a piss."

Aramis feels boneless in his cocoon of shared blankets and decides he's far too goneto interpret his words . 

Then Porthos grabs the back of his sleep shirt , exposing his naked scalp to the cold of the forest .

"Aramis !"  
Aramis jolts awake and faces Porthos , his mind trying to connect the scraps of information and cling to consciousness.

"Athos's missing."  
He processes it sluggishly and examines his surroundings to confirm that Athos is, in fact , missing .

Aramis has walked the small perimeter of their camp a dozen times trying to pick up clues , though there were none.

"No signs of a horse and the ground seems to be..."  
"Untouched ."  
Porthos assures him . It's not simply taking out the possibility of a carriage but anyone walking in here to kidnap Athos . However they managed that . 

"There's nothing else to suggest we had visitors last night , Athos can't have been unconscious . Maybe someone lured him out of the forest . "

He looks around defeated .

"No sound , no movement .."

Aramis struggles to be logical in his conclusions , but he can't come up with anything .

"What about him ?"  
Porthos asks with a nod to Claude's sleeping form .

"He can't have , Porthos . His hands are tied , we all saw Athos tie them after he tried to drink the whole bottle of wine last night . You think we wouldn't have noticed that ?" 

"I'm just saying . You heard Treville , maybe he's playing with us . Took Athos out last night , maybe threw his body in a stream , came back and pretended to be asleep . We could be next ."

Porthos has this assertive look though his words sound to be simply assessing the situation . 

"What you're saying is irrational . You think Athos is dead?"

Aramis seems to be thrumming with the negative energy that has engulfed them .

"Porthos!"  
Aramis calls with a restrained voice , low and dangerous . 

"Porthos , do you know what you're implying ?"

Porthos makes a solemn grimace , twisting his mouth and frowning , that lets Aramis know he's said all that deliberately .  
He is , too , trying not to think of the prospective of Athos' untimely death .

 

"All i'm saying is that we should question him first ."

Aramis agrees quickly and without arguments , since he can't see any other alternative . The last few days' worth of strain finally catching up with him .

It takes Porthos three , and rather violent , attempts to wake Claude .  
Aramis stands on his feet , looking apologetic , hands loosely on his hips .

"All right , here we go . "

Says Porthos , gruffly , standing upright after Claude has successfully rolled out of his paper thin blanket . 

"What have you done with Athos ?"  
Typically lacking finesse when it comes to interrogation . It's the reason why Aramis's here . He takes over Porthos as he enters Claude's peripheral and stares resignedly once again . 

"Claude , you want to be honest or you won't like the outcome . "

"Wish i knew what you're talking about ."  
Aramis is not sure what makes Claude sound so reliable but he's content believing Claude wasn't the one to make Athos magically vanish . 

"Athos is missing . If you're involved in any way , it'd be better if you confessed now ."

Claude brings his hands up to rub at his face and look at them blankly .

"In case you forgot boys , you roped my hands together like i was some cretin . Believe me when i say i'd be smarter than to take out one of you's and still hang around after."

He turns to Aramis indignantly .

"Didn't i say i'd come willingly ?"

"Yes , yeah you did ."  
Aramis drops his authoritative tone to turn slightly towards Porthos , one hand caressing his mustache skeptically .  
He motions to Porthos that Claude is most likely innocent .  
Of course Claude catches on the connotations.  
He rolls his eyes .  
Porthos on the other hand isn't yet convinced . 

He makes sure to get that across to Aramis as they pack their things up and get ready .

"You trust him ?"  
Porthos whispers to Aramis as he fastens the saddle belt .

"Do i believe him when he says he didn't murder Athos ? Yes. Do i trust him ? No. It wouldn't improve his situation in any way Porthos ."

"Why are you defending him then ?"  
"I am not !"

Aramis says , scandalized .

"Well , you're rather doting on him ."

"Nonsense ."  
And that's where the conversation hastily ends , jittery hands tugging on reigns and anxious neighs .

Aramis ties Roger to Chevalier and Porthos Claude's horse to his own and they go as fast as this arrangement allows them .

They barely talk while they ride , and all of Aramis' hopes for reconciliation are crushed under the weight of this silence .

At some point Aramis' retaliations become harsher and bitter , and Porthos in return looks more distant and frigid , trapping them in a vicious cycle . No matter how many times since then has Aramis reassured himself of his good intentions , the feud between them didn't seem to make way for peace.

It was quite absurd . Porthos was the one to see him to his rooms safe and sound , pat his back gently while he puked his insides out in dark alleys , and sometimes woke him up after a specially horrible post Savoy nightmare . They shared rooms and cots tighter than a crowded pew at mass .  
To let this calamitous discovery get in the way of those memories sounds blasphemous and not just a little isolating to Aramis. 

They cover league after league , faster than previously , with Porthos driving Claude's horse through the worst parts of the road , puddles , mud pits and holes without ever slowing down .  
The bright side is that they arrive at the garrison late that same afternoon , though out of breath and shape .

Claude vomits as soon as Aramis helps get him off the horse , and Porthos' response is a wicked , lopsided grin .

They both get a start to Treville's office with the thought that the other would fall behind , care for the horses , look out for Claude.

"It's better if i go in and give the report to Treville . You should stay here , get the horses to the stables ."  
Aramis puts up a hand in front of Porthos to stall him , but immediately knows it's a grave mistake .

"Why's that ?"  
Porthos gets defensive in a matter of seconds upon the sight of Aramis' raised hand and condescending tone .

"I'm afraid the news about Athos might disturb him . Let me talk to him first ."

"I think that you don't get a say in what i do Aramis."

"Of course not ... Porthos .. i'm not..."  
Aramis agrees , a bit at loss of words .

"I just... there's practical reasons . I have my reasons Porthos ."

"And what are they , pray tell ?"

Aramis looks at the ground first , huffs and looks back at Porthos , trying to find words that don't sound unkind or hurtful .

" You are quite direct , and this is a .. it's a delicate matter , just leave the talking to me . "

There's an awkward but small pause .

"I won't be long , Treville will tell us -"

"Is that it ?"  
Porthos cuts him off .

"What ?"

"Is that your only problem with me then ? I'm not fit to talk about delicate matters ! Because i'm under the impression it's not just that . just spit it out already Aramis. "

"You are being mad , i've no other reasons you may not come with me ! The horses need attending to , we have a prisoner -"

"You stay with Claude then ."  
Aramis stares aghast .  
They are back to the start and Porthos is once again going on a rant about Claude .

"What is your fight with him anyway ? What's gotten into you ? He's already been captured."

Porthos meets his eye and he looks affronted , ready to give Aramis a warning , but Treville steps in between them .

Another cadet , drawn by the noise , has already approached the horses and starts to dismount them .

"What do you think this is ? An arena ? Return to your post at once , gentlemen . "  
Treville chides , only to separate them and walk away , towards the gates , where their stallions and the young cadet stands .  
And Claude .

They both turn in time to see a little and hesitant smile on Treville's face before it vanishes completely .

The line of his shoulders becomes tense and jagged .

Claude has got a mellow expression on his face that Aramis has a hard time breaking down , raised eyebrows and soft eyes , lingering .

He extends a hand though he doesn't touch any surface of Treville's polished uniform.  
He quickly tucks it back to his sides .  
Treville coughs pointedly . Another musketeer comes to guide Claude away , Treville tailing them , sharing peeks and exchanging secret glances .  
It's all so unconfident in nature , so cautious . The halt in their steps and flinching eyes and tight fists .

Aramis wonders if it is obvious to anyone who doesn't know of their long and painful history .

He knows it must hurt , declaring a brother a deserter , condemning him to the guillotine .  
Though , he observes , they were not headed that way .  
The road Treville takes leads to a shortcut to Bastille , through mucky , diseased filled alleyways .

"Sir , what will happen of him ?"  
Aramis asks Treville , when he's caught up with him , a little out of breath .

Porthos sends a dirty glare his way that Aramis does his best to ignore .

"He will be imprisoned , for the time being .Until the king calls for his execution."  
Treville admits indifferently .

"Good work musketeers . You're dismissed ."  
There's something forlorn in his gaze that makes heads turn , and he looks quite unfocused .  
When he stops again , a few meters up the road , he casts a inquiring glance their way .

"Where's Athos ?"

Porthos looks at him wearily before answering Treville's much anticipated question .  
"He disappeared . On our way back from Calais the night before . We were camping."

"Aramis' idea."  
He adds after Treville's incredulous look .  
Aramis sighs in frustration .

"One of you ." He points to the pair of them.  
"Go out and look for Athos . The other is to stay here for guard duty .  
Work it out , you have three days to get back ."

The orders are oversimplified and said in a hurry , giving them an urgent and hyped feel . 

Porthos and Aramis remain behind , stealing glimpses as they try and conclude who's willing to compromise .

"Perhaps it'd be better for me to head out ."

"Not a chance Aramis ."

"You know you'll have to question people . You always tell me that's not your area of expertise . "

"It will be now . A few punches to the gut and they'll be confessing like they're in church at Sunday gatherings."

"I wish you'd hear me out for once ."  
Aramis exhales loudly and takes his leave . He plans to depart as soon as Chevalier is rested and his weapons are clean of dirt and rust.  
But he doesn't let Porthos know . He counts on this . He thinks he's been pretty clear , even though Porthos can be one stubborn fool. 

He simply walks back to his rooms without acknowledging him.

 

He should have known , really . He should have foreseen this situation .  
Known Porthos wouldn't just sit idly by , with both Aramis and Athos out there , in unknown danger .

Yet , when he saw another horse emerging from the shadows , galloping by at high speed , its rider hunched forward in the saddle , reigns held tightly in his fists , Aramis let out an undignified yelp of surprise and annoyance .

He'd picked up pace to reach Porthos , let him know that if they were doing this , they were doing this together or not at all but Aramis knew it was going to be a long , tiresome , journey to rescue Athos .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More exams ...yay.. I'm ashamed of the slow posting , but i've been seeing the fic isn't getting that much love , but taking into account it's a rather small fandom and i'm an amateur writer whose native language isn't english ..it's to be expected . I am still discouraged but i'm trying to see it to its end cause i'm incredibly invested . Wish i could put more suspense and actual character development since i love imagining the various adventures they get into , but seeing Athos has been already kidnapped , there's enough cliffhanger for this chapter i think !


End file.
